My First Love

My First Love
Suggested by: McKensie Bartz

"I love you."

Oh God, did I just say that? Definitely did not mean to say that our loud. For days I have been dreaming of the perfect way to go about professing my love for them and to just blurt it out like that...there is no rhyme nor reason for me to be here. I don't deserve this. Why am I such a moron? I'm not sure why I did that. 

Am I crazy? I might be, I don't know! Oh God, it's too silent. What are they thinking? Why the stuttering? Is that a good thing? Do they not love me? Do they even like me? This was such a mistake. I'm really good at making mistakes. Was this one of them? Did I blow my shot at finding love? True love. I thought that was what this was, but I'm not sure. I love them, but do I really love them? If I am having these feelings too, they have to be in a much more confused state. Why is it taking so long for them to respond? How long has it been? It feels like an eternity. Then again, every moment with this person is an eternity that I relish in above all else. Is that love? True love?

I should run. Just quit while I am ahead (or am I behind now?) and go. Turn around and go. Why can't I move? Just pick up your feet and go! C'mon! What are you waiting for? But they haven't left. Are they waiting for me to say something else? I fear anything else right now could hurt myself more than I feel that I've already done. There is no coming back from this. But still, they're still here. They haven't moved. Still stuttering, struggling to find the words to say back. I wish I had that control, to really form the words that I want to say, but it is so damn hard to do when I am around them. Impulsiveness is the real killer. I should have learned to sit back and let things go and really see where it lays, just as they are doing (or were they doing that at all?). Why can't I just...

"I'm sorry? I...what did you say?"

"Oh..."

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