Change is Weakness Entering the Body

Change is Weakness Entering the Body

Suggested By: Jean Cottrill

A coldness settles within you, one that eats away at you, freezing your thoughts to a moment quickly becoming lost, causing confusion and pain and worry. Worry that you'll never get back that which you so long for; confusion as to how things have seemingly stopped in their path, halting your life as you knew it; Pain that stabs deep in your subconscious that will seemingly never cease, as you try to adjust to this new way of life.

Life.

You never see what's coming as much as you think. The branching paths that you, without notice, know which to take now have road blocks  stretching across their width, limiting your choice to one that is unfamiliar and frightening. As much as you want to avoid it, in this instance, you cannot. You are forever stuck with this decision. That pain comes back and gnaws at you, desperately clinging to the notion that there had to be a different way for you to go. There just had to be. There isn't. Thinking that there is makes you weak.

Weak.

You try to fight the outcome, the only possible outcome. The pain intensifies, stabbing at your mind, your heart, your very existence. You can no longer take it. Darkness gathers and wends it's way through your mind, casting shadows over other aspects of your life; over the other choices you thought of as your own. Were they your choices. really? Were you in control in those moments? Have you ever been in control?

Control.

You breathe, taking in the new world around you, one that you are now forced to live in. A world that you now realize is not really yours. It's not anybody's, in fact. Those choices that we think we can make to improve ourselves were never ours to make, at least not single-handedly. There are more of us playing the game, and everyone has a say in what happens. It's anarchy. Life is anarchy. Sometimes those pieces we need slide easily in to place and our lives improve drastically. The pain, then, finds it's way into another hapless soul, thinking that they know what is coming, only to find the roadblock obstructing their path. They now begin to spiral. We cannot force the pieces to always fall in our favor. This ever-expanding puzzle only has one way of fitting together. We might not like the picture in the end, but knowing that this is how it should look should give us some hope.

Hope.

While the pieces start to fall in to place and what you once thought fit together perfectly turns out to be on the opposite side of the picture. New pieces, then, take their place, creating a new part to the picture that you hadn't thought would work. Yet, here they are, sliding in to place perfectly, finishing that section of the puzzle, letting the rest of the pieces fall in to place throughout the rest of it. The paths are open, though you no longer feel the need to go down the ones you think are right. The pain of one closing off is too much for you to bear anyway. You don't let yourself worry over the choices, knowing now that things will work out as they do. You just let things fall where they need to. You are content.