When The Waves Come Crashing Down

When the Waves Come Crashing Down

A sunny day, calm and relaxing. Time spent in the warm sand, soaking in life. Feet digging in sand with the water lapping lazily over them. No stress, mind drifting. Yourself breathing easily as you begin to drift into a deep lull. Soothing.

The tides roll in, slowly rising to your ankles, your calves. You pay no mind. You're in your zone, transfixed on that which brought you here; peace, at last. No longer do you worry about the day-to-day. There is no pain resting heavily on your chest, your mind, while you absorb all that is good surrounding you. If only you could have reached this point sooner. There would be more life to enjoy.

The tides continues to rise, silently crawling towards your knees, your thighs. You ignore the water as best you can. The heaviness of the sand, as it entrenches your legs feels kind of good. You shift just enough to break up the sand and ease back into tranquility. The water continues to wash over you and you shift each time, trying to keep yourself at least a little free every time the water recedes. You don't to have to move; you finally found the spot you want to stay in for a long time after having walked the beach for so long. You refuse to leave this place where no one could find you. Stubborn, you let the waves wash over you.

The waves continue to creep their way up the beach, slowly moving past your thighs and up your hips, your stomach. You still don't move. You've sunk in deep, rooted to this spot. You start to notice the coldness of the water more and more as the chill penetrates your thoughts, disrupting your peace. Yet still, you stay. You hope for the water to be as cleansing as you hoped it would be, but it is not.

The waves rise further, rushing over your arms and chest, edging closer to your shoulders. You stay where you are, though not by choice anymore. You are frozen. Though you've noticed and tried to push the thought of the water slowly up your body, to suddenness of the rising tides take you by surprise, not imaging it could hit you this hard, this fast. Your body is in such shock that you cannot physically move to escape. 

The waves crash over your head. Drowning. You try to flail to free yourself, but you've become too deeply entangled in the seaweed that has been binding you this whole time. You can't break free. A shift. Deeper. Darkness descents. The current pulls you in, the undertow dragging you out further. The only thing you can think is: Why? Why does this happen, time and time again, despite me doing my best to move somewhere past these waves? What else can I possibly do to find comfort again? There are plenty of spots on plenty of beaches to go towards, yet I always end up buried. No matter how far away I sit back, the waves keep flowing, never ebbing, rising to unfathomable depths. What else can I do?

The coldness washes away. The water no long surrounding you. As suddenly as it came, it's over. You can breathe again. You stand, shaking the sand from your body, and move to another spot up the beach, somewhere away from the water, away from your comfort. Maybe now you can relax.

It's a sunny day. You sit and dig your feet into the sand, with the water barely lapping over them. You start again to drift off into a deep lull.

The tides roll in.